Archive for the ‘English for Runaways’ Category

Kundengeschichten im Surfcenter – Windvariation und anderes

15. Juli 2009

Nachdem wir im Juni kaum guten Surfwind hatten, bläst seit Samstag wunderbarer Malojawind, der die Surferherzen höher schlägen lässt. Und er kommt sogar schon relativ früh am Morgen, so gegen halb 10 beginnt er, was ein wenig ungewöhnlich ist, startet er normalerweise wirklich erst gegen 11 oder später… (falls man in dem Zusammenhang  „normalerweise“ sagen kann:-)

„Was heisst denn das, wenn es JETZT SCHON Wind hat? Hört es dann in einer halben Stunde wieder auf?“ Mannomann, was für ein Optimist, können die Menschen denn niemals zufrieden sein? Ich gab die einzige Antwort, die mir dazu einfiel: „Das heisst, dass Du JETZT SCHON aufs Wasser kannst.“ 🙂

„Was gibt es heute als Menü?“ „Käsewähe!“ „Kann ich die auch ohne Käse haben?“  naja, es wird wohl etwas schwierig, den Käse aus dem Käsekuchen rauszupicken…:-) Da mag ich doch lieber den, der einen Cheesburger ohne Käse bestellte, das ist einfacher, das ist nämlich ein Hamburger:-)



The purest Terror

17. September 2007

Dear Peter,

everytime, when I so there sit and nothing bad think, when I a god book read, when I my yoga-exercises after me bring or when I simple my rest have will – then passeers it guaranteed: loudstark makes itself the telephone bemarkbar.

My first thought: Shit what thereupon, I am not here. all my friends know, when I to speak am an when not. Who can it be? But some time-companions are yes so hardnecky, that you the holy anger become can. They let the telephone jingle an jingle, so that a real mightfight begins. Who has the stronger nerves?

Last end’s become you with-sorrow. Muchlight is a friend in trouble and needs your help. And could it not be, that you the head-winner an a price-out-writing are and already a flight-trip to Barbados in the pocket have? That can man not on the long bank push, that needs initiative. I take the hearer up an say: “ yes?“ And who is it in the most falls? Someone, who you in the soul not outstand can, or some poor drop: „Sorry, I have the false number elected.“

It is purest terror! My friend Gerda makes the whole circus not more with: „Must I always for Hinz and Kunz parat stand, live I then only for the telephone?“ The end from the song: She has newerthings an automatic call-be-answerer. but is this now the egg of the Columbus? I say you: By wide not! For the caller may such a machine optimal be. Man sits letty there and can god and the world on band speak let-  when this everybody withmakes. By me to byplay go soforth the jalousies down, when I a call-be-answerer on the ear  have. I am so unhomely nervous und begin to stotter, when I hear:“ Speak They now!“ No sentence bring I tostand and hang lover the hearer in. shall the other himself who knows what think. Head-thing, he makes himself not lusty over me.

But one great forepart has the telephone, all what right is: Man can the blue trom heaven lie, and the other sees not, how man red in the face becomes. And what some people so on the telephone tell, would they in life not from face to face say.

But when you me ask, am I so or so more for’s letter-writing. So shall we two it also wider hold, not true?

Your true Gisela

(Quelle, Süddeutsche Zeitung)


Green is the hope

27. März 2007

Dear Peter.

always make we us illusions in life; special, when we only the words „eco“ and „bio“ hear. There is us no price too high, there we know nothing, there make we hundred-percentagy with. „Eco“ and „bio“ is the great fashion, which us total blind makes. And when we self us not what fore-make, are it other people, who us bestandy beshit or on the arm take. Will you byplays hear? How long believe we still, that the „Green Point“ us real wider brings?

Recycling is the new German word, from which you muchlight heard have. But rubbish remains rubbish, when man nothing thereout makes and it simply away-throws. There helps ist nothing, when the rubbish a green point has. Exact so good could it a blue moon, a red cross or a yellow rose be. There is no difference to the tostand tofore, so long namely no pig knows, how this recycling-model landup, landdown function shall. My rubbish-ton is full of green points –  is this perhaps the stone of the weise? I stand on the standpoint: That have we now therfrom, when the industry the mouth too full takes and the second step before the first does. On the genial idea, not so much rubbish to produce, come they simply not!

The scandal is, that my milk-bottle, which I not away-throw, but brave in the supermarket after-fill, no chance has, a Green-Point to become. The ground? As we a complete away-throw-society are, becomes the green predicate only, what we away-throw. Logic, not true? But I name it an absurd theatre.

And when the point always real green were! On the packing stands „Green Point“ to read, but on the cola-dose is the point red, on the Lila Pause is it lila, on the Philadelphia cheese  is it blue, on the shoe-cream is it black- any colour, which you like. What shall man therefrom hold?

They make us an X for an U fore. But we will it yes open bar so. I tell you what: Who three thousand „Green Points“ collected has, becomes from the packing-industry an little book gratis- the title: „green is the hope“… 🙂

your true Gisela

The Queen has the faxes thick

26. März 2007

…aus aktuellem Anlass, weil ich in letzter Zeit im Geschäft soviel „gutes „Englisch höre, hab ich in alten Briefen gewühlt und habe ein paar köstliche Englische Texte wiedergefunden, inhaltlich vielleicht nicht mehr ganz aktuell, aber zum totlachen und ich frage Euch, what shall we therefrom hold?:-)

The Queesn has the faxes thick

Dear Peter,

one of the highest interesting questions of mankind is opensightliy, who with whom in the bed goes. Freely are in this togehterhang mostest not Otto Normal User and Little Luise Miller asked, but the finer circles- sotosay the high society. And there lies already the hare in the pepper. Here in Germany have we namely overhead no high society of format. What our chancellors, presidents and ministers so drive, is mostly stink-normal and that-half highest long-whiling. we have no kings and queens, and the blue-blodded of our sciety hold themselves very,very toback.

With you in England is this all quite others. Think only of your majesties and royal highnesses, all the princes and princesses. What for a potential, what for a fundus of peppered scandals and stories  under the girdle-line! And what for a paradise for journalists! the photographers must no long wait, until they a dirty snapshort on the film ban. newerthing’s comes the TV shorterhand direct into the palace. Before running cameras tells us His or Her Royal Highness fresh from the liver, what side-jumps he or she so made has.

And this goes after the matter: Is the stone first into roling come, gives it no holding more. When the Prince Charles all world over his love-handles with this Camilla informed had, wanted the Princess Diana on no fall toback-stand. Lastendly had she not minder juicy love-adventures in petto. Prompt sat she also  before the cameras and gave her affair with this unsayable riding-teacher James to.

This had the world still not seen, but in was wide distanced from a handfast sensation. I was richly sour – not to say: to deepest frustated. What the Charles and Di namely there to best gave, whistled already the all sparrows from the roof. A pair more details please! I mean, that His and Her Royal Highness the possibilities of the TV longest not out-created have. The next time, when the cameras in the palace are, should also the Camillas and James’s with from the party be and on best direct in the sleep-room. Therewith we all hair-little  with-become.

But I think, there stands the Queen before. Her Majesty has namely the faxes thick. After this dirty wash in all public spoke she a might-word: Charles and Di should in future total on distance go and the parting inreach. And what then? The Camilla as Queen? Shine-bar will she in outland much good for her land do. But what has she a life long in der world-history to seek? Questions over questions – and the sun brings it not on the day.

your true Gisela